


Practice Makes Perfect

by eclecticat



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 03:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5951871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclecticat/pseuds/eclecticat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parent!Xiuho needs to teach their son, Sehun, about safe sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practice Makes Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Totally inspired by a certain photo of Xiuho. This is for S because she's the fluffiest cutesy patootsie mama. <3

“You tell them.”  
  
“No. You tell them.”  
  
“Junmyeon, you’re the-“  
  
“Do we really need to?”  
  
There’s exasperation in Junmyeon’s voice as he pleads to his husband, Minseok, to salvage him from the worst. They’re in the living room with Minseok absent-mindedly running his fingers on his husband’s hair as Junmyeon lies his head on Minseok’s lap. It’s a Thursday night and they’re spending it alone in the Kim mansion, watching a rerun of House of Cards on the television.  
  
The problem proposed itself when Junmyeon entered Sehun’s room to clean his son’s forever unkempt room. His son was in the bathroom and he was in the middle of arranging Sehun’s bed when he found a pack of lube sitting idly on the end table. It’s appalling to even remember how his blood pressure rose up a couple of notch the moment he saw the _familiar_ lube. Is it D-DAY? The day Minseok and he have been so scared to come? The day that they finally need to talk to their son about…safe sex?  
  
Condoms, lubes, family planning and all that other jazz?  
  
  
_“Dad, I’m going out with Jongin on Friday night, okay?” The door to the bathroom creaks as an unclothed Sehun casually comes out, his towel dangerously hanging low around his hips. There’s still moisture on his skin and drops of water fall at the tips of his dishevelled hair when he spots his dad holding the pack of lube he safe keeps for Chanyeol._  
  
_“Oh shit!” Sehun climbs the bed so fast the towel wrapped around his hips almost falls off. “Shit.” He takes the lube away from his father’s hand and pleads. “Dad, it’s not what it looks like.” But it’s a lost cause. Junmyeon’s mind is still reeling at the fact that his baby boy is all grown up and has access to lube now. “Dad, let me explain…” Sehun continues to plead, but._  
  
_“Stop swearing. Go down and eat dinner with your dad.”_  
  
_“But dad! I can explain.”_  
  
_“Shut it.”_  
  
  
“Well it is better he hears it from us, than he hears it from others.” Minseok says to his husband. Junmyeon pouts, but agrees nevertheless. They never imagined their baby boy to grow up so fast. Just a few years ago he’s crying over spilled ice cream and now he’s dating his classmate and bringing home lube for that matter!  
  
“You told Sehun to invite Jongin for dinner, right?”  
  
“Yeah, even prepared a mango cake as dessert.”  
  
The time is 6:48PM and Sehun and Jongin will be home in just a few. The doorbell echoes in the entire mansion and Junmyeon almost falls off the couch when Minsok suddenly stands up. Minseok helps his husband up and shoos him to the kitchen while he pretends to be interested in the television.  
  
“Dads, we’re here!” Sehun bellows from the entrance. Minseok and Junmyeon exchange a quick glance to each other before they go back to their own activities. They could hear the shuffling of feet and whispers of insecurity.  
  
“You sure it’s okay that I’m here?”  
  
“Of course it is, they invited you.”  
  
“Hey dads!” Sehun tries to be perky. He greets his fathers from the living room, eyes crinkling and teeth shining. Jongin is behind him with his eyes downcast and his hands holding onto a pastry box. “Jongin brought mango cake for dinner.” Sehun grabs Jongin’s arms and drags him forward. Jongin argues with Sehun, but immediately bows down when he sees Minseok look at him.  
  
“Hi sir, I brought mango cake.” Minseok merely stares at him some more before he nods and tells him to go give it to Junmyeon in the kitchen. Sehun motions Jongin to go to his other dad before he makes a face at Minseok.  
  
“Dad, don’t scare him!” He furiously whispers at Minseok, but Minseok merely lifts his hands and eyebrows up.  
  
“What’d I do?!”  
  
“I don’t know…stop looking intimidating!”  
  
Minseok rolls his eyes and tells his son to take care of his boyfriend. In the kitchen, Junmyeon struggles not to think of lubes when he looks at Jongin. “Mr. Kim, I brought mango cake for you.” Jongin sweetly says as he offers the mango cake to a busy Junmyeon. Junmyeon mutters his gratitude and takes it from Jongin without looking at him in the eyes.  
  
“Dad, what are we having for dinner?” Sehun asks while he opens the refrigerator to grab some water. “Oh you bought stuff at Caffebene too?” Sehun takes the box from the refrigerator and lays it on the empty kitchen table. “Did you buy…you bought mango cake too?” Sehun looks at his dad then at Jongin. “Soooo….this is awkward.”  
  
“Just set the table, Sehun-ah.” Junmyeon face palms himself. Sehun grabs the set of plates in the kitchen cabinet and gives a batch of cutleries to Jongin. It’s great that Sehun’s boyfriend brought a gift for them, but now they have to eat 2 cakes all for themselves. “I’m sorry, Mr. Kim. I didn’t know.” Junmyeon waves his hand. “It’s fine, it’s fine.”  
  
Dinner is an awkward scene.  
  
Minseok sits in the middle while Junmyeon is on his left and Jongin and Sehun are on his right. Junmyeon prepares an Italian feast and Jongin can’t help sucking in his breathe at the huge amount of food in front of him.  
  
“Is it always a feast in your home, Hun?”  
  
“Nah, it’s only because you’re spending dinner with us.”  
  
Sehun’s sweet smile is intoxicating for Jongin while it is puke-inducing for his parents. They watch in sheer horror as their son fixes Jongin’s hair and puts meat on his plate. Jongin mutters his gratitude to Sehun and tells him to take care of his parents too. Junmyeon and Minseok close their mouth immediately the moment Sehun looks at them. Minseok coughs while Junmyeon attempts to pour him a drink.  
  
“Are you okay, Mr. Kim?” Jongin stands up, eyes filled with worry. He grabs a glass of water and tries to tap Minseok’s back, but Minseok stops him and drinks the glass of water his husband gives him.  
  
“I’m okay. I’m okay.” He announces to everyone.  
  
Jongin sits back and looks at Sehun for confirmation. Sehun nods at him and pats his dad in the back. The dinner proceeds quite well after that. Generic and rehearsed Question  & Answer segments are inevitable.  
  
“My boy here says you’re interested in Engineering?” Minseok asks Jongin. Jongin immediately washes his food down with water before he furiously nods his head at his boyfriend’s father. “Yes, sir. Civil engineering to be exact.”  
  
“Ha! Are you good in math?” Minseok asks again. Junmyeon smiles at his husband before looking at the two teenagers before him.  
  
“Dad, you should see Jongin in class! We’re learning trigonometry now, right?” Sehun proudly boasts in the middle of munching broccolis. “He’s the only one who got the cos, sin, tan thing.” He grins at his boyfriend who’s trying to make him stop.  
  
“Chew your food, Sehun!” Junmyeon reprimands his son who makes a face, but listens to his dad anyway.  
  
This makes Jongin, Junmyeon and Minseok laugh and it makes the dinner a whole lot more comfortable than before.  
  
  
It’s when they’re all in the living room, sipping tea while munching on the mango cake Jongin brought that the nerves are back. Minseok and Junmyeon look at each other, signalling each other to do the inevitable. Their lips purse and their eyebrows wiggle while their son flirts with shy Jongin on the other side of the living room.  
  
Minseok manages to bully his husband to do it for them.  
  
“So…boys.” Junmyeon coughs to get the two’s attention. Sehun and Jongin look innocently at Junmyeon, totally unaware of the problem coming. He procures the pack of condom he bought from the drugstore this morning and offers it to both Sehun and Jongin.  
  
“AWW DAD!!” Sehun wails, standing up and collecting the pack of condoms on Jongin’s hands. Jongin is awfully beet red by now as he rubs his now empty hands on his jeans and his eyes cast downward. “Dad! I told you that lube wasn’t mine!” Sehun complains as he moans at both of his dad. Jongin’s eyes grow large at the thought of lube. Sehun has lube?!  
  
“Wait, Jongin ah. It’s not mine! Chan-“  
  
“Look, Sehun. It’s fine. It’s cool. You guys can do…” Junmyeon can’t find it in his heart to say the term. “…whatever guys your age are doing.” Junmyeon puts the condoms on Sehun’s palm and closes his fist. “Just practice safe sex, okay?” Junmyeon hugs Sehun before he walks to Jongin and gives him a pack of condom too.  
  
“Yeah, practice makes perfect.” Minseok bellows from behind.  
  
Junmyeon, Sehun and Jongin look at him questioningly.  
  
“I mean…what my husband said!”  
  
“DADS! We’re not having sex!”  
  
Sehun cries, but it only falls in deaf ears.  
  
  
Minseok is busy patting Junmyeon in the back for a job well done while Jongin is too alarmed at Sehun proclaiming their non-existent sex life to his own parents.  



End file.
